Snow Days Don't Exist Anymore

We're having a blizzard today, with up to 18" of snow possible.  No joke - it's a-snowin' and a-blowin' out there.  It's almost as if the gods are taking pity on Vikings' fans today, and giving us some time off to mourn the loss of the NFC championship game...

But as you can expect, a snow day for schools doesn't translate to a snow day for parents.  Total bummer.  And when you're a household with 2 working parents, well, your poor unfortunate kids don't get the luxury of sleeping in.  Woke my kids up and got them ready to go to Grandma's house, and we're just about out the door when Wyatt makes the wretching sound.  It wasn't a true barf - the kids all have colds and are producing copious amounts of mucus, so his "barf" was actually snot he had swallowed overnight.  Ew.  For reals.  Ew.

So I call in sick because I don't really think my mom wants to deal with that all day.  And then we get our Flexible Learning announcements.  Do you know "Flexible Learning?"  Are you lucky enough to get to deal with this wondrous invention of the education system?  No?  You poor dears.  You have no idea what you're missing out on.  Let me tell you:

• Fights.  You're missing out on fights.  Fights with technology, fights between your children, fights about getting the assignments done, fights with your own conscious about throwing int the towel on these stupid ass assignments...it's magical.
• Technology problems.  Your school will use a system for the kids to get their flexible learnign done, which will not work with anything but your ancient laptop, which rarely even gets turned on anymore, and which will take at least an hour to update before allowing you access to anything.  Then your kids will forget their passwords.  And they'll remember then right before you're about to lose it completely, but after you've torn through every piece of paper you've saved from school so far this year - and finally emailed the teachers.  So fun!!
• Endless Questions.  "Mom, can you help me find the lowest common denominator?" "Mom, is a bunch of kittens called a litter?"  "Mom, I don't know how to do math, do you?"  "Mom, my google docs aren't saving.  What do I do?"  All of which you are expected to be able to answer and help with.
• It takes all day.  Because you're at home and your kids won't focus and they don't want to be doing this, and you've allowed them to access the internet and they want to watch all the you tube videos.  All of them.  One kid's assignments took us over 4 hours today.  FOUR HOURS.  Thankfully, I only have 3 kids and one is too young to get any Flexible Learning.  But this means I still have one more kid's crap to get through. If I had gone to work today ... we'd have to stay up until 11 to get all this shit done.  Seriously!!  

Fair criticisms of this Flexible Learning: Not every family has readily available technology for every student to be working on their Flexible Learning at the same time.

• Even if there is readily available technology, it may not be compatible with the platforms you've chosen.  Why can't Amazon and Google just get along?!?!  Or why do we have to use a Google login for everything the school wants us to do?!?!
• Not every teacher is responsive to requests for assistance (though they're supposed to be.  Ahem.  Looking at you, Mr. R!)
• Households with 2 working parents are at a distinct disadvantage, as for the most part the work waits until we're home from work.  You know, after we've picked up the kids from wherever they were (if they need daycare), gotten all our crap put away, made supper, etc etc etc.  When are the kids supposed to sleep?
• WE LIVE IN MN!  It snows in the winter.  A lot.  Why can't we build in just a few snow days, like we used to?  There's not a darn thing wrong with kids getting an unexpected day off - and dare I say it, I bet the teachers appreciate it, too.

Some other fun things about days off in general, with some snow day & sick day specifics, too:

• Endless Hunger.  Ate breakfast, got to work trying to figure out how to get all this crap done.  "When's snack?"  Prepared snack.  They ate snack.  "Is it lunchtime yet?"  And so on & so forth until your formerly full pantry and fridge are empty and sad.  And it's blizzard-ing out so you can't just go to the store and get some more stuff...
• Whining.  Dear God, the whining!!  "Can't we do something FUN?" "Why do we have to do HOMEWORK on a SNOW DAY?"  "WHY CAN'T IT STOP BLIZZARDING SO I CAN GO BACK TO WORK?!?!"
• The Trapped Feeling.  We're like caged animals at this point.  Because we CAN'T leave, it becomes the thing we want more than anything else in the entire world.
• Snot.  So much snot.  In kleenexes...shooting out of noses...coughed up...nasty.
• So. Much. Disney. Channel.  'Nuff said.
• So. Much. Recorder. Practice.

Luckily, Daddy's home early from work, so Mommy gets to check out for a bit.

Right, no, that doesn't actually happen 😉.  Daddy is out handling snow removal, and Mommy is on coffee #3 and flying through some laundry and dishes and pickup.  And there's a pot of chili cooking on the stove.

It smells great in here and I'm hungry again.  And there goes the dryer. 

Here's hoping we don't end up with 18" of snow and everything is cleared up by the morning...so we can get back to school & work tomorrow.  I can't handle another day of Flexible Learning!!